Here is to another year of you and me. We used to be a great team. We've been through a lot. But nothing lasts forever, does it? Forgetting the little episode when you tried to get rid of me at the age of four with a burst appendix (clearly an unsuccessful attempt), you served me well. Until about after thirty. We were strong, flexible, dancers and yoga enthusiasts who could eat anything, didn't know what a headache was, and never had a problem falling asleep. Apart from hay fever, which in some years got pretty bad, we were golden.
Until. The metabolism slowed. The skin stopped being effortlessly great at all times. I realised that getting pregnant and staying pregnant wasn't a given. Sleep wasn't that easy. Not all positions were suitable to sleep in. Thoughts could become really dark when I didn't watch it. 3 a.m. thoughts were introduced to me... I could go on.
Still, we are trying our best. We figured out how to eat, drink and live our everyday life to maintain good general health. Some things we don't do anymore, other things we do more of. We can cope with almost everything. And we are still lucky, we are healthy and strong. Of course, I know that I will change. Besides that, I never was one of the women who want to look like she is in her late twenties forever. To be honest, getting older is liberating. Because we know ourselves better. We stop giving so much f**k about what other people think and listen to ourselves instead.
But I do hold a grudge. I do. Because I went through the first long pandemic and lockdown with a frozen shoulder, got over it, recovered, and thought all was well, and then what did you throw at me? A funny feeling in the other shoulder in the late summer. It was getting gradually worse. Being wise and being through it, I tried my best to manage it. But no, by October I knew exactly where I was heading. By November, my practice was again strongly affected, no matter how early I added all the physio exercises I could still remember. By December, I wasn't sleeping so well. Because there wasn't an easy way to get comfortable. And simply turning in your sleep? That can be forgotten. I have to prop myself up every single time... But it wasn't enough for you, was it? In the most hectic days of Christmas preparations, you also threw covid at me. Why not? The last time you did it was during the Easter holidays, I suppose you are trying out a new tradition, body, aren't you? Well, stop it. I am one of the last people who still cleans her hands all the time, feels guilty if accidentally touches her face, and never ever ever sneeze or cough without covering my face (didn't do it before the pandemic either, basic manners, just saying).
I am over covid, in a way it was OK to have it when I had it because I could just rest after Christmas and slowly recuperate. But the shoulder isn't improving fast enough, it is once again the slow, painful journey I've been already on. At least it isn't my writing and most used side and I don't overcompensate quite so much on the other side (is that the reason for suffering now?). So I am taking it one day at a time. And I still like you, my dear body, and wish us both a very good and healthy/healthier year.
