On Writing

 I am editing. Again. I have spent most of the last year editing. I started with one book - the first one I have ever written, finished, submitted, and eventually translated into English. Long project.

I was tired of the story after a while, and decided to switch to another book. A nanowrimo project, which was professionally edited. I thought it would be an easy, restful thing. It wasn't. I have found many things that didn't sit right, edited it some more, discovered Grammarly, edited again.

After that, I have felt confident. After the professional edit was done in 2017, I tried submitting the book to literary agents. I found the project daunting and discouraging. I have learnt that I don't find it easy to put myself into a clear category and compare the book with others - a way the writer is advised to look for the right agent. I settled on women's fiction and looked for agents that deal with that category. Which is many.

However, women's fiction seems to be something at the back of the list. At least in the last few years. You can write romance, there is market for that, otherwise there seem to be great interest in thrillers and crime fiction. The vague answers, or mostly non-answers, were in a sense of: not what we are looking for. As if there was a diagram of: category - topic - storyline - money. The assessment isn't about writing, it's more about what makes money right now. At least that was the impression I had. 

I didn't grow up in the UK, I can't easily categorise myself in regard of education, connections, class, history. I belong here, yet I don't. Therefore, a novel happening in Europe may not be what the agents are looking for right now. The story behind it is universal, but the framing might put them off. But I can't write what I think people want to sell, or what I believe will make the best profit. A story grows in me and I have to say it. That is how I work. It makes me a writer.

Instead of feeling beaten, I looked into self - publishing. I have spent lots of time on editing and proofreading. I didn't want to publish a book that was full of mistakes and errors. Assuming that was the hard part, I started the process of formatting. Not an easy task, too. I have learnt how to create a paperback, e - book, and a cover. It may come easy to some people, to me not so much. But I have made it. It is out, published at the end of December.

Of course, however frustrating, difficult, long and hard the process was, it was nothing. The marketing is the hill where introverts go to truly suffer (but never ever die!).

In order to not to get too frustrated, I started to edit the first book again. It was good to give it a rest. It is good to look at the text with eyes used to editing after the last year. And I hope that when I am ready to start formatting, the process will be much easier. I am a little worried about the cover, the idea in my head is probably way over my abilities. But I will figure it out.

So here I am. A writer. I can call myself that, I work on my writing every day. I am not writing anything new right now, because if I did, I wouldn't edit or promote the existing book. I have to use my resources (my resources are a budget of zero and time left after home school and house work) in a way that helps me to complete things. I resuscitated this blog in order to have some outlet for the mind. There is something addictive about the tapping of fingers on the keyboard and creating. I don't see it as a chore, it is a reward. 

I am one of many. I know I am. My inbox is overflowing with new books announcements, twitter even more so. But the readers will find me one day. And the story will be ready.