Thursday, 28 March 2013

Today I finished my book

I am two days over due. While everybody says that hardly any baby arrives on the due date and first babies are generally late, suddenly I keep getting annoyed. Since before my due date husband kept asking: 'Do you feel anything? Any contractions? Anything different?' And he would ask me like that every couple of hours. As if in the case that I did go into labour I would just keep quiet and waited for him to ask.
The day after my due date - yesterday, was the day of my ante-natal appointment. My midwife is on holiday, so we had to go to a drop in at a near by children's center. The waiting area was full and husband didn't get any better idea than announce that we are over due. A day, people, a day over due! Yest there were all the sorry looks and suggestions of a long walks....
The midwife didn't know me and we both realized how blessed we were so far to see the same midwife throughout my pregnancy so far and a lovely one on top of that. This new one did hardly check the baby but kept telling me about the thing they will do to me (or should I say to my cervix) in a week time if I don't go into labour and about getting my induction date. As if I was awfully late. And I should take long walks, eat pineapple and have sex - all of it a lot. I felt like a complete failure, like if I should have had already delivered or do something about it. I left feeling rubbish and the only good thing was that husband didn't really click with this new midwife, too, she may just have been in a strange mood or annoyed because the clinic was busy and she was there overtime, but our day was ruined.
My pregnancy so far was great. Everything was well, now I only need my baby to arrive. By itself. I want to avoid induction or any funny business around my cervix, I believe that it will happen. Since about the end of 38th week I keep observing myself, unsure of what to expect. But I thought that the real stress starts only by the end of 41st week, which is still faraway?
To add more to my mood my family and our friends keep asking: any news? Again, as if we wouldn't tell them. Luckily my husband finally realized that him asking me won't do any good to my mood and knows that I will tell him as soon as the magic contractions arrive. For the rest of the world, I wish I could move away into a cave and quietly wait.

But I am proud to announce that after weeks of hard work (some days of doing nothing, some days of hard writing) I finished my novel. All 32 chapters, all 88 493 words. I wrote last two chapters early in the morning after a bad sleep (dreaming about getting ready for my cervix to be poked and explaining to my husband that I really don't feel very sexual these days - I want stuff to come out of me, not to get in!). So I am done. I was afraid I will not finish it before giving birth, that I will loose the flow, as I know how difficult it is to catch up after a long break, but I did manage at the end. And now I feel completely ready for the baby to arrive, no unfinished business here.

I finished my book, went out for a long walk, came back home, made a pot of raspberry leaf tea, printed out the novel so it is ready for revision and now I can write a very satisfying blog post about a finished project. All I need to focus on is to get the baby out of me. I am ready, husband is ready and eager (well it's not him doing the labour, is it), our home is ready. I have all the time and energy for walks, pineapples, curries, and positive affirmations. Come, my precious, come....

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