Sunday, 11 May 2014

In May

Manchester is miserable this weekend. It is cold, windy and it rains. We were all hoping to say farewell to Spring and welcome Summer. I went through my tops, skirts and dresses and felt excited about being able to wear all these lovely things again. Last year we had hot Summer but I was breastfeeding and most of my things were not suitable for that. This year is better. Baby has the morning and good night feeds and occasionally a top up but it is so very easy compared to year ago.

But at this very moment it seems like I will not put on any of it and will carry on with jackets, jeans, trainers, rain coats.... I hope it will change.

Updates: not pregnant yet. Hopes were high, baby started to sleep a bit better with all shiny new teeth taking place of pride in its mouth but we still didn't manage to get the timing right. When we were trying for our baby, it was all about following the cycle, doing the right thing and most of all about being lucky. This time around, how am I supposed to do all that when my days are taken with caring for a very lively and active child? How am I supposed to remember to observe my cycle, keep positive mind, rest when needed, eat properly? And most of all, how to make sure that baby is asleep and husband and I are not collapsing from tiredness on the D days?

Husband is very annoyed with me. He doesn't consider my worries and will probably start to compromise on his 'well balanced and moderate' life style after another two years of frustrations. He complains that I am pushing him too much. He probably wants romance, butterflies and me in seductive lingerie licking my lips. Yeah, right.

Baby started napping. While teething and generally grumpy, baby would have a midday breastfeed, fall a sleep and when I tried to slide baby on a bed (not even a cot, our bed), baby would protest. I ended up holding on, watching nonsense tv on iplayer, it was better to have a child napping on top of me for two hours than dealing with a grumpy tired baby. I would not get anything done anyway. Now we are better. When I carefully slide sleeping baby on our bed baby sleeps and I have got ME TIME. It can be 30 minutes, it can be 2 hours. Often it is all about laundry, emails, cleaning, correspondence. But now I decided that first I will do a little bit of exercise, then I will make a cup of chai tea, drink it while hot and write. I need to revise my nanowrimo book. Right now I prefer to open a notebook and put down my ideas. There was  a long break, I need to free my head from all the stories. Also, I need to dedicate a day in my week to proper emails, tweets, blogs and facebook updates. Ah, isn't it nice to have some structure and creative outlet again? And wouldn't it be even nicer with a bump????

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