Recovery

 My shoulder is slowly but surely making progress. It was frozen and had an impingement, too. Last year, I couldn't lift my arm. Now I struggle to put it behind me and up, the sort of movement you do when you fasten your bra. But I am so used to a much less elegant way of putting it on by now, and it is no longer painful. I've adapted. Last year, everything was painful...

I have a practise log in my yoga corner and a year ago, pain in shoulders was already noted quite a few times. It is a long term issue. In the log, some sets are noted by names I gave them, and they were missing for a long time. It is funny, how one problematic part influences the whole body. Even now, getting better, turning my neck isn't the same as it was before. The affected side is different. Because when one part of the body is injured, other parts compensate for it and become affected, too. And each limb is important in the whole range of motions we need in our life.

I welcome the fact that I can do some things again. Other things are a work in progress. This month, I am working with the triangle pose - Trikonasana. Not long ago, it was too difficult to even try, I felt pathetic. These days, it isn't perfect, but there is a way to it and it allows me to stretch in a weird and comfortable way. A posture that essentially comes from the hip shows how the body is connected and how the stretch and breath flows everywhere. I can see how far I can stretch, how I can position myself, what I am allowed to do safely. I can mourn the old me - effortless and flexible. But I enjoy the new me, injured and recovering, because I am getting to know me better. Some days, I notice a progress. Other days, I feel as if the stiff arm is pulling me back.

Injury is never easy and straightforward. But healing is a good process to bring new motivation, appreciation and perspective. I don't follow the physio routine that took me through the worst months very much, I am now confident in doing what I know I can do and finding the way that yoga helps and works. I wouldn't recommend it to a beginner, but a seasoned practitioner surely understands how satisfying it is to adapt something they've missed for so long and use it to feel better. I don't know when I will be fully recovered, but that's OK. As long as I don't hurt and see improvement, I don't mind.

I also try to build up strength. I had to take it easy during the injury. I did simple, gentle practise and the physio. When I started trying flowing practise such as Sun Salutations, I noticed how unused I've become to holding my own weight. These days, I can again hold a plank position without a problem. Same with Downer Dog. It was impossible last year. I've built it up over the winter months, step by step. But a shoulderstand or a headstand are still on my wish list. This side of movement - behind me or over the head - is still a work in progress. I do miss that, and the time will come that I will enjoy them again. Yoga has so much to offer in any circumstances life throws at us, it will never stop to amaze me. Namaste.